5 Ways to Self-Care

As many of my friends are close to finishing the first year of many of their graduate studies, I am growing more aware of the physical and mental demands of graduate school, and how important it is to practice self-care, especially when studying at a graduate level. While it took me pretty much my entire undergraduate career (and a little bit of my gap year) to really figure out how to take care of myself and my mental health, I can confidently say that I am in a place where my mental and emotional health are stable, and that I've figured out a number of ways to cope with stress and insecurities to really take care of myself.

But, stress and insecurities aren't just limited to academia. One thing I've learned during my gap year is that it doesn't matter if you're in school or have a busy schedule at work, feelings of being overwhelmed or depressed can creep up on you, even if you're meant to be relaxing, and that's okay. Regardless of your circumstances, if you're feeling burnt out or sad, it is important to listen to those feelings, know that it's okay to feel that way, and take actions to take care of yourself. So, I thought I would compile a list of ten ways that I take care of myself and my mental health, in the hopes that it can help at least one person to cope with their own feelings of distress.

1. Validate your feelings

One of the things that I really struggle with is coming to terms with my own emotions. I often find that when I was anxious or depressed, I would come up with all of these reasons why I shouldn't feel the way that I did. But one of the things that I learned as part of my training as a Crisis Counselor with Crisis Text Line, was how important it is to validate the feelings of someone going through a crisis. This was one of the best things I could have learned for myself and my own mental health, because by validating my feelings, I'm able to let myself be in tune with my own emotional intelligence, and I've found that it helps me to be more forgiving of myself, and to focus my energies on positive ways to cope with any negative emotions. I've learned that everyone struggles, and that the worst thing we can do is to condemn ourselves for feeling depressed or anxious, because ultimately we are condemning ourselves for feeling human. 

2. Reach out to someone you love

Because what best friends don't have matching
Christmas spirit jerseys?

Another thing I've learned from my training with Crisis Text Line is how important having a support system is, regardless of where you are in your journey, having someone or a few someones who are willing to listen to you and support you without judgement can be extremely helpful for maintaining a healthy emotional and mental state. This is especially true for myself, as I was very close with my entire family growing up, and having a net of support is something that I know that I need in order to manage my mental health. So, one of the first things I do when I am feeling low is text my best friend. Even if she might not be able to directly fix how I'm feeling, knowing that she is supporting me by just listening to me vent (and sending me gifs of my celebrity crushes) helps to put me in a better mood, simply because I am reassured that I'm not going through this alone. And even if you feel like you don't have someone you can reach out to, text 741-741 to connect to a crisis counselor for free. This service is completely anonymous, which can be really helpful if you have a hard time opening up to people you know, or feel more comfortable sharing things with anonymity. 

3. Let your body rest

My dog selflessly keeps me company
when I need a break.

Sometimes, it isn't enough to vent your feelings, and sometimes feelings of depression and anxiety can really take a toll on your body. After all, the mind and body are so deeply connected, that eventually your mental health will take a toll on your physical health. So, one of the things that I have had to force myself to do is to let my body rest. Especially when I was in school, I struggled with anxiety, mostly associated with insecurities I had about performing well, and as a result I would often work myself so hard that my immune system would completely crash. During one particularly difficult semester, I contracted my first (and second) sinus infection and pink eye, which was a huge wake up call for me because I pride myself on having an incredibly resilient immune system (I didn't get sick my entire freshman year of college, not once!). I realized I was staying up til 3am, getting only a few hours of restful sleep (the other hours were filled with anxiety dreams), and most days all I would have to eat was several cups of coffee because my anxiety would make me feel nauseous. I was pushing myself so hard because of my anxiety, that I was getting physically ill from it. What I learned was that I needed to be more in tune with my body; listening to it when it was getting tired, and letting it rest when it needed to. I learned to schedule in days for rest, days when I didn't have to work on anything, and could just let my body and mind relax. This was super helpful for me because I found that I was getting sick less, I had more of an appetite, and I was even motivated to work because my rest days were a reward. 

4. Take a shower/bath

Although self-care can not be achieved by bath bombs, taking a shower or bath can be a really great way of showing yourself some love. I find that when I am depressed, I have very little energy and I neglect to take a shower. Sometimes I will wake up from a funk and realize that I haven't showered in 4 or 5 days, and once I jump in the shower, I can almost feel the haze lifting and my mind becoming more clear. Let's be very clear, taking a shower doesn't cure depression or anxiety, but it can be a great way of (literally) washing away any negative feelings and emotions. If you really want to amp up the self-care during your shower or bath, try meditating. Meditation doesn't always have to be done while sitting, there are Buddhist temples that focus on active meditation, or meditation while working. This idea of meditation states that you be completely present in whatever action you are doing; for example, if you're taking a shower, focus on washing your hair, being completely present while washing your hair, and wash your hair with intention. Or, you can simply focus on the shower itself, being fully aware of how the water feels on your body, the smells of soap and shampoo, and letting yourself only exist in this shower and this shower alone. Meditating can be really helpful for overall mental health, and I find that when I meditate in the shower, I feel like I'm stepping out to a fresh start.

5. Go outside

My roommate and I drove out to Death Valley
in December and woke up to see the sun rise.

Multiple psychological studies show that being in a natural environments have direct benefits to individual and public health and well-being. Specifically, green exercise or "activity in the presence of nature" has been shown to have benefits on mental health and self-esteem [1]. Personally, I have found that on my worst days, where I just want to lie in bed and take depression naps all day, my mood can be significantly improved by just taking my dog, Mowgli, on a walk. In an article published in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine, researchers claim that the healthful benefits of being outside might be something almost prehistoric; since humans used to live their entire lives outside, there is something primitive in us that is drawn to being around other living organisms like plants and animals [2]. Growing up in Hawaii, I lived most of my childhood running around outdoors (I certainly have a lot of scars to prove it), and there is something about being outside, whether it's sunny or rainy, that eases my nerves. So, when I am feeling overwhelmed by my depression or anxiety, spending time with my dog outside, even if it's just on my patio watering my plants, is a good way for me to get my emotions down to a manageable level. 

1. Barton J., Pretty J.; Environmental Science and Technology, 2010, 44, 3947-3955.

2. Frumkin, Howard; American Journal of Preventive Medicine, Volume 20, Issue 3, 234 - 240.