Update: Midterms Still Suck

Cheers to managing to get out another update amidst all the chaos of school!

The past month has been...quite a journey. With midterms, projects, and presentations the last month and a half has felt like a marathon, and it has me eagerly looking forward to Thanksgiving break. I know in my last blog post I wrote about getting into the swing of things, and I am here to tell you that school is starting to feel like when you would try to go really high on a swing, but then you realized that you were really far off the ground and with every swing you felt like you were that much closer to swinging all the way around the top. At least, that's how the last couple of weeks has felt.

My Halloween Costume: Hemo-goblin

October was extremely busy. We had our first big test and a midterm in my Human Molecular Genetics class. It kind of took the wind out of my sails for a bit. I'll be honest with you, the week leading up to my exam, I was running on coffee and the promise of a day where I would get to sleep in past 7 am (that day has still not come by the way). After the exam, I felt like I was teetering on the edge of burning out. After pushing myself so hard through undergrad, I've become extremely familiar with the feeling, and it was a little alarming but reassuring to notice that I was at the end of my rope and I needed to do something to fix it, or I would be out of commission of a few days (and with the pace of grad school, that's just not something I could afford). So, what did I do? I went to bed when I was tired, instead of staying up to get ahead on work. I gave myself permission to not study, went out with friends, and shared meals––oh, and I went to therapy. In the end, I started to feel more like myself, less tired, and as October turned into November, I started to feel less like a zombie.

KGI Genetics Program's Scary-o-type

Something that I have been struggling with in this past month has been this feeling of guilt whenever I do something outside of school work or studying. I haven't been able to enjoy myself when I go out and do activities with my friends that is meant to be a break from school, because I feel like I need to be studying and working all the time. Any moment I spend away from my studies is plagued with thoughts of, "I really need to study." It's extremely distracting and has honestly put me in a funk. I couldn't even enjoy Halloween, my absolute favorite holiday, because I needed to go home and study. I wish I could say that I've found a trick to allow myself to enjoy my time outside of school, but I'll be honest with you, I haven't. Someone told me recently that "Grad school is part of life, it isn't life." That is something that I have been reminding myself of over the past couple of days, and I hope one day it will actually stick. Until then, I am grateful for friends who get me out of the house and remind me that there is a life outside of Bayesian problems and imprinting mechanisms.

But, I got to do some really fun things this past October as well! The genetics programs at KGI (MSGC and MSGDA) got dressed up to participate in Hallo-gene 2019. One of my classmates came up with the great idea to do a karyotype, since there is so many of us. We didn't win, but I'm already excited to step up our game next year.
Another fun thing I got to do was speak to the genetic counseling student interest group at UCI! It was really nice to be able to talk about my program, and to share my experiences and whatever advice I had with a room of prospective GC's. And, I got to do it all over again during KGI's virtual student visit! A couple of my classmates and I were on a student panel during the virtual visit and had the honor of answering questions about our program, our application process, and our experiences so far, in addition to a bunch of questions from prospective students.

I know that this blog has kind of deviated from where it was a year ago, but I am still very dedicated to sharing my journey and experience with you all, and I appreciate all of you for sticking around for this long. I know that applications for the next cycle are open, and I want to let you know that I am still available to answer any questions or just to vent about the stress and anxiety of it all, just send me a direct message on twitter or instagram!

I wish you all the best of luck as you prepare your applications.